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Maternal Gatekeeping and The Dark Side of “Doing It All”

woman putting her hand in husbands face fighting

Listen in to hear why the modern mother feels like she needs to be the one calling all of the shots regarding child-rearing and how to stop that behavior in its tracks before it’s too late.

025 | Brenna Ruiz of What About Mamas

Sometimes, as mothers, we feel that we need to do it all. And when we let someone else – a partner, family member, hired support – we feel the urge to hover and dictate how things should look.

You might even fall into the trap of thinking that you – as the mother – are the only one qualified enough to care for your child, because, if you don’t, something could go “wrong.” That is maternal gatekeeping.

Brenna Ruiz (a mom blogger and self-care advocate) and I take a deep dive into stigmas surrounding maternal gatekeeping. Including how we can stop ourselves from falling into the trap and what we can do to communicate better and advocate for ourselves. We also talk about how it really does take a village to raise a child.

Brenna also shares her experiences to show us what maternal gatekeeping can do to a relationship and how motherhood doesn’t look the same for everyone.


About Brenna

As a self-care advocate, professional writer, and mom of one from Minnesota, Brenna started her blog, What About Mama’s, after having no idea how to take care of herself after having her son.

See Also


Topics covered

1:24 | What is Maternal Gatekeeping?
5:22 | Letting go of the control of maternal gatekeeping
12:54 | The breaking point
19:53 | This is on you
23:29 | The kids are alright
27:16 | Recovering from burnout
31:28 | Final question for Brenna


Additional resources

Connect with Brenna on her website, whataboutmamasportal.com. You can also read her article on how she stopped maternal gatekeeping to learn more.

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