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Hey there, Carley here. Today, I will share seven pieces of postpartum advice with you. I wish someone told me these things, so I am telling you now.
1. Don't feel surprised if you feel two conflicting emotions during postpartum
I remember feeling so overwhelmed with happiness but also feeling so much fear at the same time. I remember feeling overwhelmed by love and a pang of regret. And I want you to know that any feeling you feel is valid. And even if you feel two conflicting emotions at once, just honor them, recognize them, and let them go. Don't judge yourself if you do not feel like you “should.”
We shared a post with a similar sentiment on our Instagram recently, and it resonated with so many new moms. Know that you’re not alone in this experience!
2. Resentment happens; figure out how to navigate it
Try not to feel shocked about feelings of resentment towards your partner. I remember feeling so jealous and so bitter that my husband got to go to the gym without worrying about leaking breast milk and could have adult conversations with people around him. I took so much frustration and anger out on him unnecessarily because I didn't recognize these feelings of resentment until it was too late.
Finally, when I understood what was going on, I had an honest conversation with him, and we made some adjustments so I could feel a little more independent and he could take on some of the baby-caring load.
3. It's harder to feed yourself than you may think
Meal prep. Start a meal train. Batch cook meals and put them in your freezer. Stock your pantry. Download our Postpartum Nutrition Guide to start thinking about meals to feed yourself after birth.
After I gave birth to my son, my neighbor dropped off a homemade chicken pot pie, and I just about cried standing on my porch in the pouring rain. I was so overwhelmed by learning to feed a baby and trying to figure out how to feed myself at the same time. It was such a relief to have some food ready to eat.
Also, if cooking is not your jam, no worries. Check out Mama Meals, a postpartum meal delivery service, to get all of your postpartum meals delivered right to your freezer so you can have nourishing meals ready to go again. Our Postpartum Nutrition Guide is also packed with helpful recipes and available for instant download.
4. Learn the different signs of PMADs
You must know the signs of PMADs (perinatal mood and anxiety disorders) yourself, but also that your loved one and partner and anyone else around you after birth know the signs, too, because sometimes we don't often notice behavioral changes in ourselves.
Take some time to grab a copy of our Postpartum Mental Health Guide and comb through it with your partner or any other caregiver who will be around you after birth. This is important to help get an idea of the different perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and understand the different signs and symptoms of each.
So, if you think you're experiencing something, you can reach out and get the help you need and deserve.
5. You might have moments of regret
You might have fleeting moments of regret and questioning your decision to have a baby. And that's okay. You are not a bad mom. I wish that I could tell you how many times I have had this conversation with friends and loved ones who said, “What the heck did we just do? This is so hard. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I completely regret having a baby.”
And I want you to know you are not a bad mom for having these thoughts. We all go through this at some point, and it's hard. Postpartum is hard. It's a huge identity shift.
If these feelings are lingering or you're getting uncomfortable with the thoughts that you're having, obviously reach out to a trained, counselor or psychologist or your care provider for extra support.
6. Learn these helpful phrases
I feel, and I need.
I feel overwhelmed. I need you to take on the next feeding session. I feel exhausted. I need you to take the baby for a walk so I can try to nap.
Learning to use these two statements is an easy way to effectively communicate what you're feeling and what you need at that moment in time. Do not expect anybody to read your mind with what you need or what you might be feeling. It is your job. Among all the other new jobs, you have to communicate what you're feeling and what you need to feel better.
7. Get comfortable asking for help
It is important to ask for help that we need, but also work on receiving that help. Sometimes, when people volunteer their support or help without asking, it can feel hard to accept that help. And you must get comfortable saying, “Yes, I will take you up on that. Or do you know what would be helpful? If you could do XYZ for me.”
Take the time now, even if you're still pregnant, especially if you're still pregnant, to get comfortable with asking for and receiving help; I promise you it will be so worth it.
The seven pieces of postpartum advice I wish someone shared with me
Okay, that's it. The seven pieces of postpartum advice I wish someone shared with me after birth, even during pregnancy. Now they're all yours. I hope that you find this helpful, and I hope that you have a lovely and supported postpartum.
We are always here for any questions that you might have and thanks for watching. If you found this video helpful, please consider subscribing to our channel so we can reach more mamas just like you.
