If you feel like the romance in your relationship has diminished since having kids, don’t think for one moment that you’re alone. Feeling disconnected after a baby comes along is common, and these tips can help.
Whether you are new parents or have been in the game for years, it’s easy to get caught up in everything required to care for little ones.
Amidst the chaos, it’s important to remember that your relationship with your partner deserves attention, too. Keeping the romance alive after having a baby can be challenging, but it’s essential for maintaining a strong and healthy partnership.
We will explore some practical tips and advice that can help rekindle the flame in your relationship, even after having a baby.
Why do relationships fail after having a baby?
Having a baby is, without a doubt, a life-altering thing that can take a toll on any relationship. There are endless reasons why relationships can fail after having a baby, despite the initial excitement and bonding that comes with bringing a brand-new life into the world.
The sudden shift in priorities and responsibilities can be understandably overwhelming for both parents. The sleepless nights, constant feedings, and round-the-clock care that a baby requires can leave little time and energy for nurturing a relationship.
There’s also the financial aspect of growing a family, which can add a lot of stress.
Lack of personal time, intimacy, communication, and many other factors can explain why some relationships fail after having a baby. None of these issues are impossible to overcome, but addressing any problems that have emerged is essential to strengthening the connection with your partner.
While it’s not always easy, ensure you are clear and direct with your needs when communicating with your partner. “I” statements can prove helpful, especially when sharing your thoughts and feelings.
For example, try saying:
“I feel really sad when we don’t spend any time together. Let’s watch a show together tonight and cuddle on the couch.”
Instead of:
“You always want to do other things than hang out with me when the baby is down. It’s really annoying.” Or, let’s be honest, saying nothing at all.
How do you keep the spark alive after having a baby?
Keeping the spark alive in your relationship may seem like the least of your worries once you welcome your baby into the world, but it can be so helpful to prioritize doing so from the start.
It may sound cliché, but communication is key. If something is bothering you or specifically in your relationship, bring it up calmly and clearly.
Remember that it was you and your partner before you added to your family, so focus on the foundation you have built as much as possible.
Keeping the spark after a baby isn’t a one-way street. Both partners must be dedicated to focusing on and supporting the relationship for a better chance of success.
It’s normal for relationships to face some bumps when adjusting to life with a baby, especially during the first several weeks. Be patient and give it time because as you get into your parenting groove, things will become easier overall.
Always express your love and appreciation for your significant other, whether for something big or small, and prioritize intimacy (this doesn’t necessarily mean sex) as much as possible when you feel like you can.
Being aware and mindful of the changes you’re going through as individuals is the first step, so focusing on each other whenever you can from day one is the best way to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
But keeping the spark after a baby isn’t a one-way street. Both partners must be dedicated to focusing on and supporting the relationship for a better chance of success.
Four tips to keep the romance alive after having a baby
- Communicate constantly
- Show your appreciation and love every day
- Set aside time for one another
- Focus on intimacy
1. Communicate constantly
Communication with your partner is vital in any healthy relationship, but it’s especially needed after bringing a baby into the mix.
When you become a parent, your priorities dramatically shift, leaving your relationship in the back seat without you even realizing it. This is why you need to be sure you’re constantly communicating effectively with one another.
By sharing your thoughts, feelings, and concerns, you can work together as a team and find solutions to any issues that may have popped up.
Even when you’re exhausted and in the throes of parenting, talking to your partner is necessary for keeping the romance alive after the baby.
2. Show your appreciation and love every day
After your baby joins the family, showing love and appreciation for your partner might not happen as effortlessly as it once did. When you take the time to express your love and gratitude, you’re strengthening your bond and fostering a deeper connection with one another.
Telling your partner that you love them and are grateful for them and pointing out specific things they do that you appreciate is a fantastic way to help keep the romance alive after you become parents.
It’s always nice to feel respected and loved, and it also sets such a positive example for your child about what a healthy relationship looks like. So, remember to show your partner how much you care to ensure that spark stays ignited!
3. Set aside time for one another
Once you and your partner become parents, it might become difficult to remember what life was like before your baby came along! This can be beautiful, but it can also lead to you both forgetting how much time was spent when it was just you.
This is why it’s a great idea to set aside some dedicated time to spend with one another without a baby.
If you have trusted nearby friends and family that can watch your baby, even for just an hour while you grab a coffee or go on a walk, you should start setting aside time as soon as you’re comfortable.
If you don’t have anyone to watch your little one, no problem; bring them along for the ride. Luckily, babies nap a lot, so dedicate time throughout the day to be with one another and enjoy each other’s company with a good meal or a hobby you both like.
4. Focus on Intimacy
Intimacy might be one of the last things on your mind after you become parents, but consciously prioritizing your intimate relationship can make the most significant difference in keeping the romance alive.
Physical intimacy is an essential aspect of any relationship, and it can certainly help you feel more connected with your partner.
Above all else, you should only take things at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you and always keep the line of communication open.
Intimacy comes in so many different forms other than sex, though. Cuddling, hugs, holding hands, back and foot rubs, and forehead kisses are all ways to physically show your love and affection as you adjust to life with a baby.
Read next: No Interest in Sex After Having a Baby? Here’s How to Ease Back In (If You Want)
Nurturing your relationship after baby
You and your partner know what works best for your relationship. As long as you maintain clear communication, you can overcome any possible hiccups.
It’s so easy to get caught up in everyday life of being a parent, and it might feel like the romance between you two has diminished some.
Talking it out, dedicating time to one another, showing each other your love and appreciation, and making intimacy a prime focus are all surefire ways to help keep the flame ignited.
A little effort can go a long way, so do whatever you can to ensure your partner feels loved (and hopefully, they do the same).
You won’t only be investing in your relationship and strengthening it. You’ll also be more confident parents and set a wonderful example for your child about a loving family dynamic.
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